you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
