did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
