I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
