he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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