Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
