I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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