i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
