we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
