I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
