this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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