Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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