well I can't set my house on fire every night
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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