I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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