Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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