its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
