I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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