Betty ford says i'm here all night
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
