I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
