Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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