i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize