return my video game
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
He passed out mid-signature
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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