We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
