Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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