Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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