youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
