I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
