You're completely useless in the revolution.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
