I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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