Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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