the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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