i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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