So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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