So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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