they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
