Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize