Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize