Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Please don't give away my fajitas
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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