I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
