it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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