I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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