also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
