That's intense
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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