I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
