Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Vodka?
Forever.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize