Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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