he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
