hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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