You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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