She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
