the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
