How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
