I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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