I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
