Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
